Bride puts her foot down after her entitled mother-in-law tries to force the bridal party to wear hideous gowns for the wedding: 'She said if she's paying, she gets a say'

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  • AITA for refusing to make my bridesmaids wear the dresses my MIL pick out? So I 27F am getting married this fall, and planning has been mostly smooth-until my future MIL stepped in.
  • She offered to help by paying for the brides maid dresses, which I thought was generous... until she sent me photos of the ones she chose. They are floor-length, bright emerald green, with huge satin bows on the back. Think prom 2007 meets soap opera villain. Not all the vibe I was going for my theme is soft neutrals and romantic tones.
  • I told her thank you, but I ready had a vision and had pick out dress with my girls-simple champagne- colored ones that everyone liked. MIL flipped. She said if she's paying, she gets a say, and that I'm being ungrateful and disrespectful to her contribution. She even tried to guilt-trip my finance her son, who now thinks I should just compromise to keep the peace.
  • I offered to pay for the original dresses my son's wedding. So... AITA for sticking to the dresses I picked and not letting her force this weird green prom vision on my bridal party?
  • hjo1210 You have a fiance problem. A serious serious problem if he's telling you to keep the peace already. He will never stand up to his mom because it's just "easier to give her what she wants" and "you know how she is." Do not go forward with this marriage until he's willing to stand up to his mommy for you.
  • Brilliant_Ad2298 Absolutely NTA! Your wedding, your rules. She may pull out of paying for the dresses though. But that would be a risk I'd be willing to take!
  • Commercial_Fun_1864. If you give in, she wins and will ALWAYS use money to get your compliance. It won't matter what it is. Buy a new house but don't have quite enough for a down payment? Mommy helps but expects to decorate the house/rearrange the kitchen, because you wouldn't have the house without HER money, so she gets to decide.
  • Having a baby? She gets to name it because she has helped you out so MUCH financially. It might behoove you to visit JustNoMIL for ideas on how to shut her down.
  • sb0212 NTA. This is the battle to fight. Just because she's paying it doesn't mean it's her way. Say no thank you to her offer. Her offer comes with strings. Your fiancé siding with her is a red flag, go to premarital counseling!
  • hellinahandbasket127 NTA. If it's a gift with strings attached, it's not a gift. Your wedding, your decision. She can either give you a generous gift (for which you will be very thankful), or she cannot. What she doesn't get to do is dictate a decision you and your bridal party have already made.
  • No_Profile_3343. ΝΤΑ She offered, you declined. End of story. Tell your finance to grow a set or wedding is off.
  • Not-That_Girl Thank you, MIL, for your generous offer to pay for the bridesmaids dresses. However, I mistaken though your kind gift was to pay, not pick them. That's on me. So I respectful decline your offer. Finace and I will go ahead with our own choices, for our wedding and marriage. I'm sure you'll understand, after all you got to pick your own look for you wedding didn't you?
  • You might want to cut that last part depending on her wedding, but it's something to hold in your mind, and maybe mention, asking if her mil chose her (mil) wedding style?? Is this a family tradition you weren't aware of? It's not YOUR family tradition though! Your as its YOUR bridesmaids. her Be prepared for many many fights with her in the future.

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